Day 2

Ok, continuing on with the list of questions to ponder:

Are there ghosts?
I believe so yes.  I have never seen one in person, so to speak, but I have felt things,sensed things, that I couldn't see.  I believe my feelings, and I do believe there are ghosts.

Are there demons?
I am not certain, but I do believe there are, yes.  I feel there are good and bad forces out there, things that we can't see, so to me, if there are angels, God's helpers, or messengers, why wouldn't Satan have the same thing?

Do you believe in Satan?
Right now I do.  There is evil in this world, people who do very very bad things, and to me, that is because of the influence of Satan.

Part of the reason I am on this journey is because I feel so disconnected from God right now.  I know part of it is because of winter, I hate winter.  I never want to leave the house, it's cold, and dreary, and I rarely see the sun.

I am jealous of the people that have such a close relationship to their God.  That they feel close to Him/Her, they are firm in their belief.  I've never really felt that.  I grew up going to church because I  had to.  I went through Lutheran confirmation, because I knew it was expected of me, and because, at that time, I felt it was what I believed.  I went through stages of going to church and not.  Certain life events seem to make you want to be closer to God, like the birth of a child.  Others, like a death, seem to cause me to pull away.  And lately, it seems like I am just getting beat down more and more.  It seems like there is more bad things than good happening in my life right now, and I start to wonder why.  Is it because I'm not close to God, because I'm being punished for something I am doing or not doing?  I believe that God does not work that way, but at the same time then, why?  I'm a good person, why am I always struggling?  Why are bad things always happening to me?  And don't get me wrong, I know things could be much much worse, and there are many many people that would love to be where I am now.  I'm just struggling.

I want to feel fulfilled spiritually, I want to find that for myself.